Haunted House Home Remedies

At the base of your stairs sits a beautiful, antique set of full plate armor. Unlike some of the other objects that came with the house, it’s actually quite nice, and makes for a great conversation piece. The only problem is that anytime anyone walks by the armor laughs maniacally and swings it’s great axe down with murderous intent. Luckily no one has gotten hurt, yet, but your children and guests are having a bit too much fun pretending they’re playing Dark Souls.

Let the armor do what it does best. Move it from the base of the stairs to just outside the front door. Give it strict instructions that it is no longer allowed to attack anyone who lives in the house or your invited guests. But is allowed to sing against intruders as much as it wants. You’ll never have to deal with door to door solicitors again!

You walk up the stairs. Oddly, you feel like you’re not getting any closer to the second floor. You turn around. You’ve only gone up two steps. You turn back around. 8 more steps. You count them as you go. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You turn around. You’ve somehow gone down a step. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs. You walk up the stairs...

Luckily this problem very rarely serves as a consistent, all the time problem, so most of the time you can just climb the stairs like normal. For the times that you can’t: learn parkour and scale the outside of the house. If your neighbors give you weird looks, just laugh it off and tell them this is how everyone from YOUR HOMETOWN climbs their homes. You know they’re already judging you for living in this house in the first place.